FTW III

F.T.W. III 2013 Logan’s Tavern Feb 2, 3 20013

 F.T.W. “Forever Two Wheels” or F.T.W. “Fuck the World” I ride a bike on a daily basis but my bike doesn’t have a 650 or 1200 cc engine resting under my crotch…. The motorcycle community has many factions so what kind of people were represented at this F.T.W. event?  What kind of music did these F.T.W.  people groove to? Read on and journey into a two night event at a seedy bar in Victoria B.C. Canada and you shall see.

 The first evening I scan the crowd and see various fashions of men and women. The jean vest with patches is common and I recognize some of the patches also greasers, tatty clad folks, black leather bearded and the odd metal dude. Then two uniformed police enter the bar and immediately narrow in on an attractive young woman. I guess cops need to pick up chicks too so I watch as they check her ID. She denies them any reason for further investigation so these two fuzz walk around checkin out the men in the room. I guess cops need to pick up men too, but after a quick cruz they leave the bar empty handcuffed. On their way out they shake hands with a mustache guy in a vest who I figure is their informant. I have my eye on this guy.

 I hear the stage liven up and the first band was Kentucky Womanizer from parts unknown.  Toe tappin rock with a twist of sexy lady on the front. I focused for a few minutes on this band as the lead lady on the stage takes an electric angle grinder to her crotch; luckily for her she was wearing a steel Jill that protected her baby maker.  Sparks flew from her crotch but I was pulled away to a table of some local gang (not gang…. team) members. Sadly the Womanizer band finished their set and I probably missed a good show. I figured a woman with a grinder must be the perfect fit in this crowd.

 The next band was an import number from the mainland. La Chinga… what the fuck?… must be French or something. La Chinga is a three piece that resembled the likes of something from the 70’s. Can you say a heaping helping of fuzzed out Led Zepplin riffs. Their pace made the people scuttle around like hippies on red bull. They really ripped and when they finished their set the crowd sounded like they wanted more and they wanted it bad.

 The mainliner for the night enters and with a heavy buzzzzz of guitar sound and I realize it’s time for a hit of the band called Buzzard.  Live Buzzard is kinda like getting stoned using a 4 barrel carburetor. Buzzard equals heavy riffed down rock in the vein of 70’s doom metal. With a resurgence of dudes growing their hair, growing beards and riding motorcycles I think this music fits well with that retro style.  Oh yah and did I mention Buzzard are fuckin heavy. Hope to see some vinyl from these guys soon! I have been reserving a spot in between my Black Sabbath and Earthride records…… if you don’t know these bands I suggest you get off the back of your girlfriends bike and walk!

Friday night is over and its way past my bedtime and so I ride my bike home to mum.

Day 2 Feb 3 FTW

  I had to go to work a few hours after I arrived home, unlike the many fortunate soldiers of F.T.W. who probably woke up in the tank or on the front lawn in the afternoon. My day was a knuckle busting plethora of work that ended with me getting home at 5:00 to collapse on the kitchen floor and fall asleep. I was awaked by hot dinner. I ate and fell asleep again on the table. 10:00 the bell rang and I returned to the bar for more F.T.W. The bar had reached sold out capacity. The table reserved for the good folks at Steve Drane Harley Davidson was full with the real men of Harley Davidson motorcycling in this city. This is a plug for that fine shop that has supported the F.T.W. event for the last two years so get your arse down there and support them.

 Unfortunately my late arrival meant I missed the performance by Island Monster but the general consensus was they rocked the fucker good or so it said on the interweb.  The Injectors from Abbotsford took the stage next. Now I sensed a taste of Vancouver skateboarder in this band’s music as well as some tire smoking and a little 4 wheel drive. Remember what the old t-shirt said… “Injections nice but I’d rather be blown”.  You might ask yourself did The Injectors deliver as well as a blower? I will say YES. Would I like to see this band again…? I will say YES. Get your fast HESHER rock here boys!

 This being the second night the dance floor was a little more crowded and there was definatly a higher compression ratio. More people meant more out of control dancing so The Stockers took the stage right into the crowds face. These guys are greasers that don’t prescribe to the retro 50’s era Rock-a-Billy that was popular a few years back. Their music is rocker music but no stand-up bass. This is a garage band and the audience goes off in response to their music. I kinda felt like I was in Detroit seeing some of that early rock/punk from the 70’s, you know the kind of garage rock that happened before the afro became fashionable. That’s The Stockers.

 The end was near and what better way to end the evening than with an American band that go by the name of The Spittin Cobras. The band has had a few years of touring under their belt but this is the first time they have executed their music in this city. Unlike the previous bands that played the Cobras have a blast of that wicked metal in their rock-n-roll.  The singer was a screamer. You just wanted to raise your fist and yell “Hell Yeah” then your head would start banging. They ripped and they even covered an oldie by the late great DIO. Many girls on the dance floor even knew the lyrics and sang into the mic with the singer. WOW, what a great band to end this event with. Just when you had forgotten the title of this event “F.T.W.” and all was fun and nothing was fucked. Out of the corner of my eye I see a young Asian guy snake his way through the crowd and attack an old man.  This was fucked. The dance floor cleared as the two head locked it out until they separated.  I was told later it was a skateboard team war issue and not an ageism attack. They should ban skateboarders next time, anyway The Spittin Cobras never missed a beat, and F.T.W. came to an end with a happy crowd. Basically “FTW”=Good times in a retro rocker way but if your lookin for big motorbikes and Bob Seger or Rice Rockets and Rap this will not be the event for you

 It was time to leave when I spotted the guy from the previous night who I thought was a police informant. I wandered up to him and started some idle conversation. He smiles at me through his mustache and asks me if I know where he could get a large amount of drugs. I shake my head “no”….but I give him a wink and tell him I know where he can get a large amount of sexy time. I gently put my arm around him and felt what I thought was a gun holster…… whew what a night!

 Love- Mary Openheadr